You Have Discovered Beatnuki, God Help You

Beatnuki (noun) - Portmantaeu of "beatnik" and "tanuki"; insufferable pirate hacker cartoonist writer fool

Welcome! You have either arrived here on purpose, or landed here by accident, and you have my condolences in either case.

I'm Beatnuki, and I write books, draw odd cartoons, hack things incredibly unsuccessfully (except when I don't), edit stuff you've written, play videogames for unseemly spans of my limited time on Earth, convey information with a staggering lack of concision and generally do things that most civilised people seem to find objectionable.

I'm incredibly talented at not being paid for any and all of the above.

Find Beatnuki Online

And make him pay.